I’m Not Dying With You Tonight

By: Gilly Segal and Kimberly Jones

Published by: Sourcebooks Fire

I was so intrigued by this book when I stumbled upon it. Two girls, one white, one black, thrust together during a riot, just trying to survive the night? Color me curious. I’m Not Dying with You Tonight was full of promise, and I went into it excited to see how the authors would handle such an important topic amongst a violent backdrop.

Lena is a fashion-forward student with a loyal best friend, a loving, but protective grandfather, and a lame excuse for a boyfriend. Campbell is a new student just trying to survive her senior year after her mother dumped her with her dad to pursue a job. Their lives collide one night at a football game; tensions run high, and a scuffle between two high school students turns into an all-out brawl. A gunshot later, and it’s a riot that begins to spread.

I’m disappointed to report I found this book lackluster. I really, really wanted to like it, saw so much opportunity in the text, but ultimately the book fell flat. Let’s start with the main characters: Lena is meant to be tough-as-nails and no-nonsense; she has a lot of people who love, worry, and care for her, but her main focus is on Black (yes, that is his name), her sad excuse for a boyfriend. She tells us early on she had to work hard to get him, and she plans on keeping him, but she does so at the expense of her own self-respect. In fact, her pitiful need to find him despite the riot sends both her and Campbell further into danger. The book could’ve been cut in half if she’d realized her safety was more important than a hookup, and just headed home. She walks her sweet cousin right into danger all for a hot guy, and every good thing she does evaporates in her constant chase to get to a guy who sends up dozens of red flags.

Campbell is actually a pretty sympathetic character, but she’s painted as timid, naive, and sometimes pathetic. At least we hear more of her backstory – we get very little on Lena. Her parents divorced, her dad sued to pay less child support, then stopped completely, causing her and her mom to lose their home. Her mother is too scared to give up her job, so she takes a job out of the country, leaving Campbell with a dad who doesn’t seem too concerned with his daughter to begin with. He spends every weekend at his fishing cabin alone, barely making ends meet, and seems more focused on himself than his child. When he does show up it’s because his store was in danger, not his daughter.

The rest of the characters are flat foils meant to drive the plot further, but do little else, which is a shame because they were actually more intriguing than the main characters.

One thing the authors did well was portray just how high tension can run, and how quickly things could escalate. Sense and reason were thrown out the window, and replaced by fear and panic. The book was highly plot driven, and honestly, for a book about a riot the tension and anxiety didn’t transfer to me as I read. The authors chose to tell instead of show, and because of that the reader was supposed to take things at face value. For example: Lena was clearly scared every time the police showed up, but there was no explanation as to why. We understood why Campbell was distraught over her father’s store – she’d already lost one home, they’re barely hanging on, and now it looks like she’ll lose another. But no explanation from Lena. I would’ve liked more insight instead of the “police just make things worse” statement.

For a book about racial tension and divides I didn’t feel like either narrator really discussed these topics. When they were mentioned they were mainly Lena yelling at Campbell. Campbell did say some ignorant things, but most of that stemmed from fear, and then she was just supposed to take Lena at her word. Instead of an honest conversation, Campbell cowers, afraid to upset Lena because Lena knew the way home, and she doesn’t.

For all that fell short, the book actually brought up some good topics of discussion: what to do if you’re ever in a situation like this? If calling the cops only makes things worse then what do you do? What you’d want your teen to do if they were caught like this? Could your kids call you without fear of punishment? Do you do the right thing or the safe thing? Growing up, my parents made it very clear I could always call if I was in danger without fear of consequence. Lena should’ve known this – her grandfather loves her, and she knew he would come get her in a second. Instead, she relied on an unreliable guy because she wanted to be important to him. You deserve better, girl. Why couldn’t the girls stay in the teaching portable for the night? Why did they have to get home just then? Did Campbell really expect Nicky to stay and protect her father’s store when his grandparents needed help? Does Lena really think looting is okay because people need an outlet to express themselves? Does Lena really think Campbell losing the store might actually be a good thing? The number of deep sighs kept increasing as the ludicrousness continued, and ultimately there was no real resolution for the reader so…why did I spend two days investing in these characters and this book?

I read a review suggesting a map at the beginning of the book, and honestly that would have been a great addition. I waffled between two and three stars for this book – it’s not unreadable, and the concept was intriguing. Some of the characters had great moments, but overall, I was disappointed it missed the mark. Two and a half stars.